If you care – not that you do, but if you did – here are the dudes’ 2014 postseason brackets. One is “never exceeding the speed limit with automatic transmission,” while the other is “buckle up, buckle up again, and close your eyes because you won’t be able to read the speed limit signs as we blow by them, anyway.” This is probably a valuable insight into how both of us live. Probably.
If you need a primer on the postseason contenders, check out our 2014 Major League Baseball Postseason Primer. Also, before you get your panties bunched up over our releasing our brackets after the completion of the wild card games, you should probably know that both of the dudes consider the Wild Card game to be more of an extension of the regular season than the beginning of the postseason. Observe:
MattyTheP: “Conceptually, [the wild card games] are more ‘Regular Season Game 163′ than ‘Playoff Game 1’ to me.”
BeardFaceMan (simultaneously): “[The wild card games] are essentially a mandatory 163rd game.”
Let the actual playoffs begin.
Matty Patty will be taking the “Baseball is Predictable” approach to his postseason picks this year.
On the Matchups Guaranteed to Happen:
Orioles peck Tiggies’ eyeses out in 4
Both teams can bang. Admittedly, the Tigers possess the superior starting pitching talent, and it is not especially close, but it says here that the Orioles will sufficiently feast upon the rotting meat that is the Tiger bullpen to neutralize the talent gap. Seriously, the Tiger bullpen is hysterical. Hysterical bullpens fail in October. Failing bullpens make teams go home. The Tigers are going home very soon.
Angels prove even Royalty can go to heaven (in 4 short days)
Day 1: Angels win. Day 2: Angels win. Day 3: Angels and Royals travel to Kansas City. Day 4: Angels win.
The talent gap here is severe. The only hope for the Royals is for their decent rotation to somehow neutralize the awesome Angels lineup better than the Halos’ rotation abuses the abysmal Sovereign bats so the absurd KC bullpen can put 6th inning leads away. That is how a thing such as that can happen; things such as that
will not very, very probably will not happen.
Dodgers shoot Cardinals in a hunting accident; Cardinals die 4 games later
Isn’t that what rich, powerful people do? Shoot small creatures with big guns? And don’t other rich, powerful people sometimes look like small creatures in the heat of the moment? I’ll have to take rich, power people at their words on this one – after all, who wants to upset rich, powerful people?
The Dodgers are absurdly talented from top-to-bottom (NINE players over 3.0 WAR this season, plus another three over 2.0). While their bullpen is quite questionable outside of Kenley Jansen, their bats will probably put up enough runs and their rotation will probably give up so few that the bullpen will only be able to screw it up once. I wouldn’t count on Yasiel Puig to pull a repeat of last October’s
hilarious tragically self-destructive shenanigans, either.
The Nationals slaughter the Giants in a quick, comparatively humane fashion
If I were to pick a team that is most capable of pulling off a first round upset, it would be the Giants. Their lineup is pretty solid, their rotation will probably get the job done reasonably well, and Bruce Bochy plays October bullpen chess like no one else managing today. It’s just that everything the Giants do well, the Nationals do better. More power, more walks, vastly superior starting pitching, and superior bullpen production. To be fair, the Giants’ bullpen was quite good outside of Sergio Romo this season, and Romo will (please please please) not pitch high leverage innings this October. The Giants have an abundance of October experience, respectable talent, and the resilience of a cockroach that has served them well in other seemingly Kobayashi Maru situations, but my brain is telling my heart that the magic finally stops here. Nationals in no more than 4 games.
Briney Deep will be taking the ‘Baseball Is Awesome’ approach to his postseason picks this year.
On the Matchups Guaranteed to Happen:
TIGERS MUNCH O’S IN 5
ROYALS ROLL CONTINUES
SWEEP DREAMS; CARDS BLANK BIG BLUE IN 3
GIANTS CRUSH NATIONALS; MLB TO REVIEW PLAYOFF FORMAT IN WAKE OF INSANE GAME 4 BLOWOUT: