Category Archives: Sex Sells

Spring Fling / Give Him a Ring / Leave Him Crying: NL East Edition

Finally. Belatedly. Past-waiver-trade-deadline-ishly. Kinda-sorta-almost-Octobery. We rise from the ooze of June Swoons, the Heart of Hell from which July stabs at thee, and the autumnal sunlight that signals pigskin is here in a meaningful way to pick, from a sample of three, one to ‘Date’, one to ‘Marry’, and one to ‘Kick to the Curb’. The Subjects? All 30 MLB rosters.  The Objective? To provide you with a cursory introduction to some of the players and concepts we value… and hate. You know it. You love it. It’s…

Sweet Nothings and Hardball’s “Spring Summer Fall Fling / Give Him A Ring / Leave Him Crying” Game!


Spring Fling
: Ready to give a season to this player, but for any number of reasons it probably won’t work out long-term.

Give Him a Ring: Ready to commit to this player for at least 3 seasons.

Leave him Crying: Ready to be cold and heartless because sometimes we don’t want to be masochists anymore.

Players must have accrued MLB service time this season to qualify as entrants.

NATIONAL LEAGUE EAST

Presented in order of standings on September 23, 2014.

Washington Nationals
Atlanta Braves
New York Mets
Miami Marlins
Philadelphia Phillies

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Spring Fling / Give Him a Ring / Leave Him Crying: AL East Edition

Can the dudes race against the onset of summer and win? No, probably not. Will the fact that the final edition(s) “Spring Fling / Give Him a Ring / Leave Him Crying” could very well be published in summer matter to someone? Probably. Does that someone read “Sweet Nothings and Hardball?” Math says “no.” Nonetheless, we are committed to bringing you the opportunity to pick, from a sample of three, one to ‘Date’, one to ‘Marry’, and one to ‘Kick to the Curb’. The Subjects? All 30 MLB rosters.  The Objective? To provide you a cursory introduction to some of the players and concepts we value… and hate. You know it. You love it. It’s…

Sweet Nothings and Hardball’s “Spring Fling / Give Him A Ring / Leave Him Crying” Game!


Spring Fling
: Ready to give a season to this player, but for any number of reasons it probably won’t work out long-term.

Give Him a Ring: Ready to commit to this player for at least 3 seasons.

Leave him Crying: Ready to be cold and heartless because sometimes we don’t want to be masochists anymore.

Players must have accrued MLB service time this season to qualify as entrants.

AMERICAN LEAGUE EAST

Presented in order of standings on June 15, 2014.

Toronto Blue Jays
Baltimore Orioles
New York Yankees
Boston Red Sox
Tampa Bay Rays

Wait, so what you are saying is that the AL East is getting yet further coverage? Sadly, it must be so, trolls. Hey, at least its some weird “upside down” AL East though. C’mon – doesn’t some part of you enjoy that this is *almost* a complete inversion of the 2008 standings? Too esoteric? We can’t be friends.

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Spring Fling / Give Him A Ring / Leave Him Crying: NL Central BONUS Edition

MATT’S BONUS LEFT CRYING

Emilio Bonifacio – 2B/3B/SS/OF

MLB: Chicago Cubs at Pittsburgh Pirates

Take out a piece of paper and a writing instrument, class; it is time for a brief lesson on Small Sample Size and Ree-ee-gression!

Wait, what? Yes, I suppose the back of the test I just returned to you and your neighbor’s highlighter will do, but please come to class with all of your crap next time.

This was originally going to a bonus second Cubs “Left Crying” in our NL Central Edition of Spring Fling / Give Him A Ring / Leave Him Crying, but it took on a life of its own and became too large to be included in that post. I simply could not pass on the opportunity to briefly celebrate the cruel, heartless bitch that is regression. Of course, real statisticians (and sabremetricians) will consider this concept elementary, but it is nonetheless fun to ponder. I need to preface that I do not really have anything against Emilio Bonfacio – he is somewhat unremarkable and largely inoffensive, though I would never go out of my way to fling with him or present to him a ring (per the paradigm of the larger series of which this post is a rogue offshoot) – the opening to his 2014 campaign has so perfectly encapsulated this statistical concept in which I place a great deal of value that I simply could not pass up the opportunity to use and abuse Bonifacio’s poor little heart for my selfish purposes. Continue reading Spring Fling / Give Him A Ring / Leave Him Crying: NL Central BONUS Edition

Spring Fling / Give Him a Ring / Leave Him Crying: NL Central Edition

June is upon us and we have but a short time to authentically conclude our lusty spring series while it is still – you know – spring. Proms are over, nature’s flowering is frying, and inexplicably generous contract extensions will have to wait until the weather chills. Nonetheless, we shall continue to bring you our most favoritest of old tavern games: from a sample of three, pick one to ‘Date’, one to ‘Marry’, and one to ‘Kick to the Curb’. The Subjects? All 30 MLB rosters.  The Objective? To provide you a cursory introduction to some of the players and concepts we value… and hate. You know it. You love it. It’s…

Sweet Nothings and Hardball’s “Spring Fling / Give Him A Ring / Leave Him Crying” Game!


Spring Fling
: Ready to give a season to this player, but for any number of reasons, it just can’t work out long-term.

Give Him a Ring: Ready to commit to this player for at least 3 seasons.

Leave him Crying: Ready to be cold and heartless because sometimes we don’t want to be masochists anymore.

All players considered must already have accrued MLB service time (there will be prospects later… wait, can’t we have this prospect now?).

NATIONAL LEAGUE CENTRAL

Presented in order of standings on June 1, 2014.

Milwaukee Brewers
St. Louis Cardinals
Pittsburgh Pirates
Cincinnati Reds
Chicago Cubs

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Spring Fling / Give Him a Ring / Leave Him Crying: AL Central Edition

Repost. Original post date: May 25, 2014.

Editorial Prologue: We apologize for the delay in the release of the AL Central Edition of “Spring Fling / Give Him A Ring / Leave Him Crying.” Our write-ups were completed by the morning of May 23rd; we will attach editorial comments to the write-up of any player who accomplished or experienced anything significant in the wake of the completion of writing.

 

We’re wrapping up May here at Sweet Nothings and Hardball with a special Spring series (contrary to what mercury readings might tell you, there is still a solid month of spring left).  Indeed, as young men’s fancies turn to thoughts of love this time of year, (what with your ‘Prom’, nature’s flowering blooms, and inexplicably generous contract extensions) so shall we too embrace this season of love. We are committed to bringing you only hardest-hitting analysis and the most insightful-est of journalism, and we do so today by playing everyone’s favorite of old tavern games:  From a sample of three, pick one person to ‘Date’, one to ‘Marry’, and one to ‘Kick to the Curb’. The Subjects? All 30 MLB rosters.  The Objective? Give you, our favorite (ahem… only) reader, a cursory introduction to some of the players and concepts we value. You know it. You love it. It’s…

Sweet Nothings and Hardball’s “Spring Fling / Give Him A Ring / Leave Him Crying” Game!


Spring Fling
: Ready to give a season to this player, but for any number of reasons, it just can’t work out long-term.

Give Him a Ring: Ready to commit to this player for at least 3 seasons.

Leave him Crying: Ready to be cold and heartless because sometimes we don’t want to be masochists anymore.

All players considered must already have accrued MLB service time (there will be prospects later… don’t you worry). Again, remember that this intended to be cursory and fun; we are both keenly aware that there are players out there other than the “household names,” but the very nature of our little game will by default limit our field to the best and brightest (or previously best and brightest) stars.

AMERICAN LEAGUE CENTRAL

Presented in order of standings on May 25, 2014.

Detroit Tigers
Kansas City Royals
Minnesota Twins
Chicago White Sox
Cleveland Indians

 

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